| How on earth can you help your family cope | | | | uncontrollably, and thought we |
| with the anxiety | | | | |
| | | | were all going to die horrible deaths very |
| and fear that natural disasters strike into | | | | soon.We overcame this problem, and I've since |
| the heart of | | | | learned that our |
| | | | |
| everyone?In early 2005, for example, the | | | | son's reaction was similar to that of many |
| world was rocked by the | | | | kids' when they |
| | | | |
| tsunami in South East Asia that killed | | | | don't fully understand something - and we |
| thousands and left | | | | parents go about |
| | | | |
| many homeless and orphaned.Yet, at the | | | | our business in blissful ignorance!So first |
| Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I | | | | of all, be aware that natural disasters, and |
| saw | | | | even |
| | | | |
| a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims | | | | human atrocities like terrorist events, can |
| of this natural | | | | make a deep |
| | | | |
| disaster, perform a dance routine based on a | | | | impact on even very young children.Bring the |
| play by | | | | kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down |
| | | | the |
| Shakespeare.Their smiling faces and youthful | | | | |
| exuberance left no one in | | | | reality of these events, and allow the kids |
| | | | to express their |
| any doubt that these kids had not only | | | | |
| survived, but had | | | | feelings openly and frankly.Having dealt |
| | | | with the horrors - and trust me, the kids |
| been helped to grieve, move on, and live | | | | will |
| life to the full | | | | |
| | | | feel better after talking about them! - |
| again.It can be done.But what of our own | | | | concentrate on other |
| kids, who have not suffered the actual | | | | |
| | | | aspects of the subject.First of all, make a |
| experience of a disaster? They may | | | | frank assessment of the likelihood of |
| nevertheless fall prey | | | | |
| | | | it happening to them.If there's been an |
| to an insidious and potentially devastating | | | | earthquake somewhere, and you live in an |
| trauma.This is unacknowledged fear or | | | | |
| anxiety, and | | | | area that's not likely to be affected by |
| | | | one, let them know. |
| many parents may | | | | |
| | | | If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress |
| be unaware that it's happening to their own | | | | the |
| kids under their | | | | |
| | | | procedures to be followed in the event.But |
| very noses.I say unacknowledged anxiety | | | | also look for the GOOD springing from |
| because often children | | | | disasters or |
| | | | |
| themselves don't recognise it for what it | | | | accidents: people rally round; poor |
| is. And that's | | | | countries have their |
| | | | |
| when real trouble starts!Often our kids | | | | debts written off; measures are taken (such |
| witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked | | | | as building sea |
| | | | |
| or horrified, and are reluctant to talk | | | | walls and early detectors) to ensure the |
| about their | | | | disaster |
| | | | |
| response, | | | | doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways |
| | | | the kids |
| the fear can become repressed. It then | | | | |
| manifests in | | | | themselves can help, like fund raising.Most |
| | | | importantly, provide emotional support when |
| 'side effects' such as physical ailments, | | | | fear |
| school problems, | | | | |
| | | | strikes. The awareness that there's a |
| relationship difficulties, or loss of | | | | strong, warm, |
| confidence.So what can parents do to | | | | |
| help?First of all we must realise that kids | | | | comforting adult presence - a pillar of |
| take in more than we | | | | strength in their |
| | | | |
| think they do.For example, when the AIDS | | | | lives - can work wonders.To sum up: Be aware |
| crisis was preoccupying every | | | | of the kids' reactions, talk out their |
| | | | |
| radio and TV station in the western world it | | | | fears, look for ways to take helpful action, |
| never dawned on | | | | and provide the |
| | | | |
| my wife and I that our young kids would even | | | | emotional support your kids need.Do this, |
| think about it. | | | | and you can rest assured your kids will cope |
| | | | with |
| We thought they were too wrapped up in Star | | | | |
| Wars or | | | | the news of disasters and atrocities, which |
| | | | in modern |
| The Care Bears or whatever the current fads | | | | |
| were.We noticed that one of our sons was | | | | life are all too inevitable.Happy |
| becoming untypically | | | | parenting!Why do some parents and children |
| | | | succeed, while others |
| fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping | | | | |
| well.During a particularly bad episode one | | | | fail? |
| night, it all came | | | | |
| | | | Frank McGinty is an internationally |
| out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis | | | | published author and |
| was, but it | | | | |
| | | | teacher. |
| terrified him! He was shaking | | | | |