| How on earth can you help your family cope with the | | | | out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it |
| anxiety | | | | terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and |
| and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart | | | | thought we |
| of | | | | were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.We |
| everyone?In early 2005, for example, the world was | | | | overcame this problem, and I've since learned that |
| rocked by the | | | | our |
| tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and | | | | son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when |
| left | | | | they |
| many homeless and orphaned.Yet, at the Edinburgh | | | | don't fully understand something - and we parents |
| International Festival yesterday I saw | | | | go about |
| a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this | | | | our business in blissful ignorance!So first of all, be |
| natural | | | | aware that natural disasters, and even |
| disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play | | | | human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a |
| by | | | | deep |
| Shakespeare.Their smiling faces and youthful | | | | impact on even very young children.Bring the kids |
| exuberance left no one in | | | | into the discussion. Avoid playing down the |
| any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but | | | | reality of these events, and allow the kids to |
| had | | | | express their |
| been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the | | | | feelings openly and frankly.Having dealt with the |
| full | | | | horrors - and trust me, the kids will |
| again.It can be done.But what of our own kids, who | | | | feel better after talking about them! - concentrate |
| have not suffered the actual | | | | on other |
| experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless | | | | aspects of the subject.First of all, make a frank |
| fall prey | | | | assessment of the likelihood of |
| to an insidious and potentially devastating | | | | it happening to them.If there's been an earthquake |
| trauma.This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and | | | | somewhere, and you live in an |
| many parents may | | | | area that's not likely to be affected by one, let |
| be unaware that it's happening to their own kids | | | | them know. |
| under their | | | | If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the |
| very noses.I say unacknowledged anxiety because | | | | procedures to be followed in the event.But also look |
| often children | | | | for the GOOD springing from disasters or |
| themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And | | | | accidents: people rally round; poor countries have |
| that's | | | | their |
| when real trouble starts!Often our kids witness | | | | debts written off; measures are taken (such as |
| disasters on TV. If they're shocked | | | | building sea |
| or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their | | | | walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster |
| response, | | | | doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids |
| the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in | | | | themselves can help, like fund raising.Most |
| | | | importantly, provide emotional support when fear |
| 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school | | | | strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, |
| problems, | | | | comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in |
| relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.So what | | | | their |
| can parents do to help?First of all we must realise | | | | lives - can work wonders.To sum up: Be aware of |
| that kids take in more than we | | | | the kids' reactions, talk out their |
| think they do.For example, when the AIDS crisis | | | | fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and |
| was preoccupying every | | | | provide the |
| radio and TV station in the western world it never | | | | emotional support your kids need.Do this, and you |
| dawned on | | | | can rest assured your kids will cope with |
| my wife and I that our young kids would even think | | | | the news of disasters and atrocities, which in |
| about it. | | | | modern |
| We thought they were too wrapped up in Star | | | | life are all too inevitable.Happy parenting!Why do |
| Wars or | | | | some parents and children succeed, while others |
| The Care Bears or whatever the current fads | | | | fail? |
| were.We noticed that one of our sons was becoming | | | | Frank McGinty is an internationally published author |
| untypically | | | | and |
| fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.During a | | | | teacher. |
| particularly bad episode one night, it all came | | | | |