| mething most of us do often. We shake hands. We | | | | your thumb to your forefinger) nestled into the joint |
| shake hands with long-time friends, with old | | | | of their thumb. This allows you to truly have a full |
| acquaintances and with brand-new people. Shaking | | | | handshake. |
| hands here and shaking hands there. | | | | 3. Firm, not strong. A good handshake is firm but not |
| I took a class in college where they taught us how | | | | overpowering. It isn't the precursor to a wrestling |
| to shake hands. I remember thinking at the time - | | | | match, and it doesn't feel like a dead fish. Do you |
| more than 20 years ago - that everyone should | | | | wanted to be handed or greeted with a dead fish? I |
| know how shakes hands effectively. Then, as I | | | | doubt it! Always make your grip firm, but make |
| reflected, I realized that I had shaken more than a | | | | adjustments based on the firmness of the other |
| few hands that needed those lessons. I thought | | | | person's grip. |
| then, and agree now that my Dad taught me the | | | | 4. Up and down, not back and forth. A good |
| basics and importance of good handshakes. | | | | handshake has a nice up and down motion, not a |
| In much of the world, the handshake is a part of the | | | | back and forth one, as if you were jointly trying to |
| first impression that we make. People think about | | | | saw some wood. Again, adjust the motion to what |
| first impressions from a grooming and dress | | | | seems natural and comfortable to the other person. |
| standpoint, in business situations they practice what | | | | 5. Adjust duration. Some people prefer a long |
| they might say, and they often read books to learn | | | | handshake, others prefer them much shorter. |
| what kinds of questions to ask to remain authentic | | | | Observe the other person and adjust the duration to |
| and create a positive first impression. | | | | the situation, how well you know the person, and |
| And while all of that is important, it is the handshake, | | | | what seems comfortable to them. |
| often overlooked and forgotten, that is the first | | | | 6. Consider your left hand. While it may not be |
| physical information others receive about us at the | | | | appropriate in some cultures, I often use my other |
| early part of a relationship. | | | | hand to grasp the other side of the person's hand or |
| In other words, handshakes matter. | | | | to touch their arm. This gesture makes the |
| And a strong one can make a big difference. | | | | handshake warmer and more personal. When I am |
| An American colleague who has now been living and | | | | trying to convey those feelings I include my left hand |
| teaching in Japan for some time must agree, because | | | | as well. You might consider doing that too. |
| she emailed me and part of the email reads: | | | | 7. Close with eye contact and a smile. If the smile |
| Next week is the beginning of the school year - and | | | | and eye contact hasn't continued throughout the |
| I really want to get my new students off to the | | | | handshake, finish it out that way. |
| best possible start. Would you be willing to share | | | | After re-reading and thinking about these secrets |
| your thoughts on how to give a really great | | | | several times, I realized that the deeper key to |
| handshake? I have been away from the U.S. for so | | | | handshakes (as with many things in life) is intention. |
| long, and have few opportunities to practice (though | | | | Keep your focus on the other person, and you will |
| my bowing has gotten really good :)) | | | | naturally do many of the things on the list. You will |
| Here are the secrets to great handshakes, | | | | make the handshake a natural part of your |
| assembled to respond to her earnest request. | | | | connection process. You will make eye contact. You |
| 1. Start with eye contact and a smile. A great | | | | will smile. You will connect. You naturally adjust your |
| handshake isn't just about a physical gesture, it is | | | | grip, etc. You will focus on the other person. |
| about connecting with the other person. It is a | | | | As a leader or a person responsible for interacting |
| physical greeting and you want to convey your | | | | with Customers in any way, the value of this skill is |
| pleasure in greeting the other person. The best way | | | | obvious. The fact is though that having a great |
| to do that is with your face and your eyes. | | | | handshake is a life skill we should all cultivate. It |
| 2. Go for the thumb. Keep your hand open and make | | | | matters to us in creating first impressions and in |
| sure your handshake will be a hand shake, not a | | | | building relationships. |
| finger or palm shake. This means getting the joint of | | | | Thanks to my Dad for teaching me and thanks to |
| your thumb (the lower joint - the tissue between | | | | Teresa for asking me the question. |